Sunday, January 20, 2013

Needing Attention

Last night, my husband expressed some disappointment with me. He just wanted me to sit next to him on the couch for a little while, but I kept busy with other tasks that I wanted and felt like I needed to get done. I got defensive about his wanting attention and my being too busy because I was getting things done and the only way I can figure out not to be so busy is to drop some of my commitments, which I'm not sure I want to do in some cases, or realistically can in others. I want to go to Bible studies and help with the Homebound ministry. He encourages these activities. I need to be active and doing different things with and for the kids. Not everything, I know, but kids do take a lot of time, energy, etc. If I'm outside playing with them, preparing for a birthday party, craft, or science experiment, etc., it takes time. My husband said he did not intend for me to drop all my activities - he just wanted some time with me. I apologized too and told him he had just entered my own personal battle and welcome.

Anyhow, enough of my gripe and justification and back to the point of this post.

I was thinking about this and the thought came to me, "He's being just like God our Heavenly Father and like Jesus to the church!" Wow, that's exactly what I want and what God wants! Then I started thinking further about what that meant.

My husband was just asking for me to be still for a little while and spend some time in relationship with him. Psalm 46:10 says "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."  God, our Father, wants us to stop the busyness sometimes and be still. Just 'be' for a little while. Spend time in conversation with Him, not just talking as in a monologue, but by listening and allowing it to become a two-way conversation. Just be close to Him for a while and recognize who He is and how much He loves us.

Ephesians 5:22-27 says "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any ore blemish, but holy and blameless." My husband really does love me greatly. Those of you who know him personally can see this. I need to show more respect to him - as the head of our marriage and family. I try, but need to continue to improve.

I am also reminded of some of God's messages about needing rest, about taking a break. These passages mostly refer to keeping a Sabbath day, which I'm not good at, but I can take steps in the right direction. Some of the passages I'm thinking about are Genesis 2:2-3 and Exodus 20:8-11.

So, here's what is needing attention in my life: I need to find the opportunities and make myself stop the busyness, be still, and spend time. I've gotten better at making time with God, but it needs to be mirrored in my relationship with my husband, too. He needs (and deserves) my attention. He is seeking it. Looks like I've got some work to do.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Making Plans

I haven't written a post in so long, almost two months now. I had plans to write but found it difficult to find the time to sit down and do it, especially during the holiday season (which also holds two children's birthdays for which to plan parties - not done with that yet).

I am in the habit of making New Year's resolutions. No, I'm not especially good at keeping them all, but it does give me a good reference point to refer back to and keep record of my progress. Some things get accomplished very well, but others fall to the wayside, no matter how good-intentioned. Some things accomplished this past year were memorizing at least 12 new Bible verses and maintaining previously memorized verses (currently up to 81 verses that I practice); have at least four dates with my husband; develop a chore list for the kids (developed, but not well-implemented - that goes for my chore list, too, though); do aerobic exercise at least one day of every week (okay, so it wasn't every week, but I think 27 out of 52 weeks is pretty good for me); earn 10 CEUs to maintain my licensure and certification; complete at least one sewing or craft project (did at least 3, which made Christmas presents); complete Pre-k curriculum with Daughter; potty-trained Son. Some not accomplished well: having a devotion time with my husband once a week; instituting quiet times for my children at least three days a week (they're a little young, probably, however Bible Time in the mornings is going very well right now); finishing our wills; reading a couple specific books; selling unwanted/unnecessary items to raise money for the family; do toning exercises 4 out of 7 days a week (major failure!); play piano at least once a month; play oboe at least once a month.

Now I'm in the process of developing new goals for this year. I had plans to scale them back, and still might, but there are some really important ones I want to keep/add. I plan to increase quality time spent with my husband; read those books I never got read last year; earn 10 more CEUs; complete at least one sewing project; save money to use for our family's next vehicle; finish our wills!!!; and do some removal of excess in our home and schedule. I plan to teach Daughter to tell time, tie her shoes, and memorize the Lord's Prayer. I plan to teach Son letter and number identification, among other undetermined goals at this time.

I was taking out the trash this morning and thought about the nandina and holly berries that Daughter had collected with plans to plant them all and grow a whole bunch of new plants. She is definitely our little gardener; we currently have four bean plants and two airplane plants growing in our kitchen that she recently started. She always has grand plans for some kind of project, game, imaginary play activity, etc. Unfortunately, she has a couple of parents that manage to dash some of those plans. It can be so hard to work out all the details of the projects along with other activities that need to be done for the family - you know, things like fixing dinner, getting ready for bed... Ten minutes before dinner goes on the table is not the best time to pull out the paints, glue, scissors, etc. The nandina and holly berries were thrown away without Daughter's knowledge yesterday evening, by the way. She'll remember them and ask about them, I'm sure. She almost always does. The time of collection was just not a good time to be planting a whole bunch of new plants. Plus, they were moldy by now and needed to go.

How many times do we make plans only to have God tell us 'no' or 'not right now?' I can be very good at making lists and plans to do things, only to realize that there is not enough time to get them done, that there are other important things that need to be done, that they are just not feasible at the current time. Sometimes I learn that I am just not the right person for the task.

No matter what we may try to plan, God has a better plan.

Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Proverbs 19:21 - Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.


May God bless your plans today. May your plans be ones that He would desire to bless, ones that would bring glory and honor to Him alone. May you seek Him first - His kingdom and righteousness (Matthew 6:33).