Friday, April 19, 2013

Women and Self-Image


Many women struggle with self-image issues. I had a friend just contact me tonight asking for verses on the topic. Here are some verses I found as well as some additional thoughts from me. I'm just praying that they are helpful for you or anyone else in your circle of family, friends, etc.


Proverbs 31:30 - Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

All of Proverbs 31 (because, other than the verse above, it mentions nothing about how a woman looks).

1 Samuel 16:7 - But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

Psalm 100:3 - Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Psalm 139:13-16 - For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. (The whole of Psalm 139 might be good to read, but these verses pertained to this topic.)

1 Peter 3:3-7 - Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.


Something that came to mind for me as I looked at these verses tonight is that God is looking at the inside, not the outside. I'm thinking of many verses that say for us to consider and improve our minds, hearts, and tongues - but nothing about improving our outer beauty. If anything, it says to downplay the outer appearance and not be too showy (See 1 Peter 3:3-7 above).

I know I have struggled sometimes with self-image and the passage that I always remember in my relationship with my husband is 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (especially 5). It says: The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Even when I didn't/don't feel beautiful (or even "pretty"), I remember how important my man and our marriage is to me and that I adamantly don't want Satan to come between us - and where my attitude, avoidance, or whatever else has caused a void, I want God to redeem it - and I have to move in such a way so that He has the opportunity to do so. That often entails purposely fighting and putting aside my thoughts about myself and what I think my man thinks about me and changing the statements (lies) I hear into more positives.

I flipped through Song of Solomon tonight, too, because it is often true that our men do not see us the way we do. They think we are beautiful and incredibly desirable. It is hard at first, but if we persevere, we can begin  to see ourselves closer to how they do. We have to voice it to ourselves, though, and really believe it when they say it. Take it into your heart and know it is true - that his opinion is all that really matters. You have to tell yourself, "He loves me," "He wants me," "He is happy with me and wants me to be happy, too" and other statements like this.


I don't know if it makes sense to you, but I feel love for all of you reading this and pray for you. May God free your minds from any bondage you may have regarding self-image.