Time-Out!

My son really doesn’t like time-outs. Which is good – that’s the purpose right? He sits there saying/crying, “Mama! Mama! Mama! Mama!...” I was thinking about it last week, that the separation from Mama during the time-out seems to be the greatest punishment for him. Then, this made me think about how sin separates us from God.

When Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden (eating the forbidden fruit), they were sent out of the Garden. When they left, they experienced a separation from the communion they had previously with God. I mean, they used to WALK in the garden WITH Him! Talking directly with Him! WOW!

When Jesus was on the cross during the ninth hour, “Jesus cried out in a loud voice, ‘Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?’ – which means, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’” (Matthew 27:46, Mark 15:34). The sins of the world on his shoulders separated Jesus from his Father God.

Here are a few more verses about sin separating us from God: Isaiah 59:1-2, Jeremiah 5:25, Ezekiel 39:23-24, Micah 3:4, Habakkuk 1:13.

So, our giving time-outs to our children for their sins is providing them with a separation from their parents, which is a small reflection of the separation we experience from God when we sin.

Now, a few thoughts on discipline. We are expected to discipline and train up our children. If we put aside discipline, we are not helping our children at all – and making life miserable for ourselves and others. I’m not sure time-outs are the best. I've read in the Bible about using a rod... I do believe that different methods work better for different circumstances and children - but I believe they must be something that will cause the child not to want to do whatever the sin was again. Some people are against punishment, but God isn’t! Some people think only positive reinforcement should ever be given. Such was mentioned to me recently, but I said that I wanted my children to recognize their sin and feel sorrow over it. This is what God expects from his children – for us to recognize our sin and confess it. We should have godly sorrow over our sin so that we desire to repent, turning away from the sin.

Here are some verses I found regarding discipline: Proverbs 3:19-20, 12:1, 13:24, 19:18-19, 22:6, 22:15, 23:13-14, 27:5-6, 28:23 and Proverbs 29:15, 17, 19, and 21. James 5:20 can be applied also.

What I got from these verses is how important discipline is. Just talking about the issue is not enough (there has to be a consequence) and sticking to the consequences is also very important. We are responsible for teaching our children what sin is and that they need to avoid it, in order to save them from death and teach them about God. If we truly love our children, we will be intentional and consistent in disciplining them.

Here are another couple verses that I thought were important to consider: Proverbs 12:18 and 15:1. These verses remind me of having the correct attitude when disciplining. We should not discipline our children out of anger or through our own other emotions (tired, frustrated, stressed, etc.). We should be calm and in control when meting out discipline.

Another thought I had before posting this: I use Bible verses when disciplining my children. I want them to know that I am not punishing them just because I don't like something they did, but because it is something that God doesn't like, that it is sin that is being punished. Some of the verses used most often are Ephesians 4:32 ("Be kind and compassionate to one another...") and Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:1 and 6:2 (honor/obey your mother and father). We also discipline for tantrums, but I haven't looked up verses for that yet (until just now when I was thinking about it and have found these few as starting points - Ephesians 4:31 and Philippians 2:14-15. (I guess that will be my next Bible search.)

We talk about how their behavior would not please God and how it affects them and others. We often talk about appropriate behavior and other solutions they could have tried instead of disobeying/being unkind/throwing a tantrum. We always end the time-out time with specific apologies (ex., "I'm sorry for disobeying."), the disciplining parent saying 'I love you,' and hugs and kisses. OH!- and they don't get out of time-out after only the minutes-per-age. If they are still throwing a tantrum after the time is up, they stay there until they have gained control and calmed down, being able to talk. Otherwise, they won't be able to talk to or hear the parent anyway!

I looked back over previous posts and saw that I posted another one regarding disciplining and training up our children back in March (title: Train Up a Child) that you might want to review also.


May God bless you as you go through your day and week. May He show you how your sins are separating you from Him and may you be brought to a desire for repentance. I pray that you have a chance to read the verses listed and they are helpful to you as you consider disciplining children and God's discipline of us.